Experimental Notes of Sadness
Middle-school choir teacher asked me to write notes draw their stems and assign them places on the staff to then play on the piano when she came to me, the notes were forlorn and far away sadness has always been part of my framework, in the veins in the recesses of my soul puncturing one to draw blood doesn't take it all away because I have an over-abundance stored in my heart. The notes are the wrestling thoughts that cause restlessness after Mother Nature rains down drops that play music into my bones on the windowpane but also shatter my resolve that's why she's called "Mother" and not "mom" The notes are the feelings that persist through my belly and my chest causing the hurt that makes me want to vomit because of the lack of reciprocity of those feelings they are the fear I felt of going to school The notes are the long winding path that you walk down because the fresh air feels good until you realize that this is a dirt path right as the storm hits and the path turns to mud, turns to sludge and like quicksand, your legs are rooted to the spot The notes are the cataclysm caused by a build up of impatience tired of waiting for peace to come from half-hearted movement instead of long-winding screams, they are the cause of torrents of rain, hurricanes, tsunamis that sweep through and leave nothing behind because nature was never treated with kindness so we hate the destruction caused to us because it was unpredictable you hear the slosh, slosh of the waves carrying your valuables and your car away you're sick of global warming bullying natural disasters into this destruction but we drive people to this kind of musical madness, out of tune but in sync with the sadness of the ocean.
